Tuesday, September 8, 2009

She Loves You? Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. (And then some.)

My Dear Oldest Son,

I’m sure you didn’t think it was very significant when we picked you up on Friday and the first thing The Princess asked you was, “Have you seen your room?”

Let me tell you a story....

When I was nearly four years old, I tripped on the sidewalk in my shiny black shoes on the way to Sunday School. I landed on the right on the curb, earning myself this attractive black eye just in time for Christmas:


The first thing I said? “I want to be in Grandma’s bed.”
Grandma W was the most nurturing person in my world. She was practically the center of my universe. She seemed to have magical powers, turning black clouds up on end to display not just their silver linings, but bright rays of gold shining through. She was the very embodiment of unbridled joy, and her bed was the very essence of all that meant “comfort” to my four-year-old heart.

My wise parents acted on my wishes, and I soon found myself resting on mounds of down-feathered pillows under layers of hand-stitched quilts, in Grandma’s hand-carved oak bed. Right where I needed to be. Suddenly it didn’t matter if my head hurt. I was comfortable. I was safe. I was loved.

*Flash forward a few decades.*

The other night The Princess was feeling sick. She had a fever, a sore throat, a stomach ache...and woke up in the night with a fierce case of the flu. What she did completely surprised me. She crawled into YOUR bed! (even though this photo is of her on the couch)



My first impulse was to scold her. To lecture her about spreading germs, and unnecessary cleaning projects. And then I thought of my three-year-old self longing for a place that was comforting, that reminded me of the very essence of Home. And she chose the space that reminded her of YOU. That was her comfort place — the haven kept waiting for her big brother.

And so I let her. She camped out there for three or four days. And then made sure to tidy everything up and change the sheets before you came home.

So I’m pretty sure that when she asked you if you’d seen your room...she hoped you wouldn’t mind the flowered pillowcases and mismatched sheets (hey, at least they’re clean!) and I think she also kind of wanted you to know that your room had been her safe place last week. A place representing all the comfort and protection and love her big brother has to offer. Which of course means more than you’ll ever know.

Love,

Mom

20 comments:

Sandy M. said...

Beautiful post, Charrette. I hope I can be that Grandma too.

Much love to your son and to your family - I hope you have a wonderful visit together :)
xo

Melanie J said...

That picture of you still looks exactly like you.

How sweet for your son. I love it when I see things like this happen between my kids.

Barbaloot said...

That is one of the cutest stories ever. It's so sweet that her brother's room was her safe place:)

Becky said...

That is precious. I hope my kids will have that kind of relationship.

Luisa Perkins said...

First of all, both those photos are wonderful.

It's so lovely when you see evidence of affection between siblings. Beautifully written.

Kristina P. said...

I loved this so much. It took me right back to when my brother was not himself and was going through all the crap he needed to go through.

My parents also separated while he was away, and more than anything, more than my parents getting back together, I wanted my best friend back. Which I have. :)

Kimberly said...

I think one of the greatest successes a parent can ever boast of is that they taught their children to love each other. So precious.

Tammy Lorna said...

What a beautiful letter. I home that J and the princess are both doing well, and are enjoying spending some time together. I love my relationships with my brothers and sisters - very special.

xo Tammy

Anonymous said...

Grandma's really was that special place for me too...I also asked to go there after a fall and injury. What fun to remember. That was really sweet about Jordan, and neat to see that she feels that way about her big bro. Em

Heather of the EO said...

That is just the sweetest thing. I hope Miles and Asher feel this way about each other one day.

Kazzy said...

Love the photo of you! What a cutie. You look a little like the Cool Guy there. Hey, how sweet that your Princess would choose to take comfort in her brother's space. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Love it!

Brillig said...

Awwww, I love it. And I love that you were so insightful and let her camp out there, despite the extra work it would mean. You're the coolest mom. No wonder, then, that your kids are the coolest kids.

L.T. Elliot said...

One of these days, Charrette, I'll have to pay you back for all the tears you make me cry.

val of the south said...

That is so sweet that she wanted to be comforted by her brothers essence.

I never really appreciated my relationship with my bro until he left on a mission - but I would never have gone to his room for comfort, his essence smelled way too bad!

I bought a book today at DI because you had written a blurb on the back!! My son was very impressed that I knew you. But, he wanted to know if I knew you in real life, or by blog - I said both! It's "Meeting Amazing Grace" by the Lundbergs. I shall think of you while I read :)

deb said...

Charrette, this was just sweet home goodness. It speaks much of you, the sibling love. I'm starting to find that there are regular blogs I "need" to visit, and your heart here is certainly one of them. thanks.. and love the Santa photo, boo boo and all.

deb said...

Charrette, this was just sweet home goodness. It speaks much of you, the sibling love. I'm starting to find that there are regular blogs I "need" to visit, and your heart here is certainly one of them. thanks.. and love the Santa photo, boo boo and all.

deb said...

Charrette, this was just sweet home goodness. It speaks much of you, the sibling love. I'm starting to find that there are regular blogs I "need" to visit, and your heart here is certainly one of them. thanks.. and love the Santa photo, boo boo and all.

Jessica said...

It is a beautiful thing to know what it takes to comfort, and be comforted! I can definitely relate to wanting a big bed and a safe place to heal- how precious that your daughter finds that in her big brother!

An Ordinary Mom said...

You must have hit your head pretty hard. Wow, what a shiner! But more importantly, what a beautiful connection you made then and now. You are obviously one remarkable mother!

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