Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Standing Still and Motion Sick

I am stuck in the center
of a spinning world
Pulled in every direction
is pulled in no direction at all
I feel a kind of motionless frantic

Needs and distractions both beckon
Calling for my attention
Like Gypsies peddling their wares
in an outdoor market
Some tug on my mental shirttails
Others cry out, wave, motion me toward them:
Start this. No, that! Over here...

And all the while I spin
From here to there
Unable to choose
which comes first, what can wait
Everything seems urgent, and yet —
There are so many obstacles
in every single path.
My mind keeps spinning spinning spinning
Faster and faster
Going nowhere
Until I am motion sick

I want to scream
How can I create
in the midst of this

Finally the spinning slows
as I drop to my knees
Help me make sense of all this
Help me choose, act, move, do
Help me finish something

The whirling and turning slows
enough to let me focus
whittling away at
whatever I can
one at a time
I see them clearly
for what they are
acting with purpose, direction
ticking them off as I go

The deadlines still loom
The sidelines still compete
But I am steady.

Once I have found my center
The spinning doesn't make me
lose my balance
any more.


Melanie J said...

Finding your center.


That's it.

Anonymous said...

Perfect. I've been spinning right along with you. So often I find myself spinning like a top out of whack, trying to do it all myself, when I finally remember to get on my knees and ask for help. Amazing how that puts everything into perspective.
Thank you!

Pam at beyondjustmom said...

That was pretty! I'm trying to figure out which "id" to use since I don't have a blogger blog, and Open ID gave me that gobbledy gook. Sorry! The above comment above was from me, Pam. Still love the poem!

Kristina P. said...

You are awesome, my bloggy friend.

LisAway said...

I'm glad you've got your balance. This poem is just so expressive, I feel like I'm right there. Just lovely.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Awesome. That's all.

Kimberly said...

This is beyond beautiful, love. Life is so much this way . . . so much spinning till all sense of self and purpose is lost in it. Just reading this is calming and I feel less dizzy. Thank you for the gift of this perspective.

Kazzy said...

So real and true and hard to reconcile. You always seem to have a good attitude when I am around you. You are an inspiration. Big hugs.

LexiconLuvr said...

I love how you found your center.

Now if I can find that center instead of the center of a tootsie pop, I'll be in good shape. =]

Debbie said...

I know that feeling far too well!

Heather of the EO said...

Yes. Yes. And yes!

How come I forget so often? You said (so beautifully) what I so need to hear.

It's all still there, but when I focus on my "center," asking Him to join me in my every day, I don't have such a tendency to fall over.

Love you.

Cari said...

Ditto everything LexiconLuvr said. Especially the Tootsie Pop part.

Mrs4444 said...

Every mom can relate to this piece, Charrette. When I find myself about to step on that merry-go-round come morning, I find it helpful to pray (as I know you do). God grounds me, thankfully. :)

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

I love, love, love how your choice of words make the reader feel the motion and the feeling you are trying to convey. This is beautiful...and so true. I often feel like life is spinning out of control, until I find my center and regain balance. It feels good to know someone I admire shares my experience.

Sandy M. said...

Sir Thomas Moore was reputed to have said that he had so much to accomplish on a day, that he would need to spend an extra hour on his knees to get it all done..

Heidi Ashworth said...

Oh, I can so relate to this, esp. this last week. I really feel like I have lost my spiritual center. What a difference that makes! Love you!

Jessica said...

wow, I love this. I'm going to link to it! It's so where I am right now. What a perfect metaphor.