I Couldn't Possibly Be that Shallow!

A week or so ago I took this personality test as part of a family assessment we're doing. Supposedly it can determine your core motivation, which you are born with and never changes from childhood through adulthood. I dutifully followed the instructions and marked the little bubbles, even when none of them seemed to fit. Then I clicked the link for my results:

Congratulations. You are YELLOW.

YELLOWS are motivated by FUN. They are inviting and embrace life as a party that they're hosting. They love playful interaction and can be extremely sociable. They are highly persuasive and seek instant gratification. YELLOWS need to be adored and praised. While YELLOWS are carefree, they are sensitive and highly alert to others' agendas to control them. YELLOWS typically carry within themselves the gift of a good heart. (There's more, but that's the basic gist.)

Motivated by FUN? I couldn't possibly be that shallow. Or could I?
I'm convinced the test is wrong. Because who and what I am is blue. Not only is blue my favorite color, and I yearn for the serenity it symbolizes...Blues are motivated by intimacy. And I CRAVE intimacy. Case in point, this blog. I write from the depths of my soul for you here, seeking a deep connection with like-minded others, fueled by the interaction and deep, meaningful conversations that ensue. This is who I am. I am Blue.

Or maybe I'm White. Because I avoid conflict and love my alone-time. (What mother doesn't?) And I refuse to be controlled by others. Yeah, I could be white.

Convinced there's been an error, or at least a technical glitch, I log back on under a different email address and password and take the test again. Confidently I click on the link and wait for my new results to appear:


















Congratulations. You are YELLOW. (Stop laughing)

YELLOWS are motivated by FUN. They are inviting and embrace life as a party that they're hosting. They love playful interaction and can be extremely sociable.
Yadda Yadda Yadda...

Hahahaha. I guess I am destined to be shamelessly, relentlessly, forever Yellow. Or maybe they rig the test so that EVERYONE who takes it is Yellow. Look, do me a favor. Click here, take the little personality profile and tell me if you're, well, Yellow. I need to know.

And in the meantime, I've come to grips with my new mistaken identity by recalling these defining Yellow moments:

• I recently found a soulmate in Anne Shirley. I'm embarrassed to admit that I never read this book until I was an adult. The exuberant heroine of Anne of Green Gables, exulting in the beauties of nature to the point of practically swooning, (and describing them in words far too big for her scant 11-year-old frame), drinking in life with big, passionate gulps, is exactly how I was as a child--and still am, to a degree.
  
  
• When I was at Cambridge, an older-and-sourer colleague, who'd obviously been dampened a bit more by life than I was, asked me one day, "How do you manage to exist in a constant state of bliss?" (I think she found it ever-so-slightly annoying). But I was reveling in the history, the architecture, the connectedness with great scholars, the mist on the moors, punting on the Cam, and immersing myself in Dickens and Austen and Hardy and Eliot. Plus I had a new boyfriend. And I was picking up a British accent. A good response might have been "How do you come here and NOT exist in a constant state of bliss?"
  
  
• At my first REAL job (after college) one of the ad reps printed up note pads for everybody for Christmas. All the rest had their official titles printed under their names. But MINE? Said Editorial Art Director/Fun Specialist.
  
  
• There is also this post (my very first) in which I was actually pulled over by a cop for my public display of...Yellowness?
  
  
• And then, right after my husband asked me to marry him and I threw my arms around his neck with an unhesitating yes, he said these words: "We're going to have a fun eternity!"

So maybe it's true. I think I'm coming to grips with my Yellowness. Perhaps life hasn't beaten it out of me after all. What's more, maybe it's precisely my resilient Yellowness that actually keeps me buoyant when life is especially rough. But, just for the record, I still (joyfully) crave intimacy. So there.